Sometimes I Wish I Were More High-Maintenance

Why on earth would I wish this? Well...let's take a look in the mirror (GAHHH!):

1. Lips are so chapped there's an actual bleeding crack on the bottom lip.
2. My organic, aluminum- and toxin-free deodorant has failed to completely deodorize...okay, I pretty much smell like a truck driver.
3. I think I showered yesterday, or was it the day before? (#2 could be attributed to this - not ALL the deodorant's fault.)
4. My 5 week old chipped, overgrown pedicure actually makes my feet look worse than if I had no polish on at all.
5. My hair highlights appointment has had to be postponed FOR THE SIXTH TIME, no joke...might as well go natural at this point. (that will NEVER happen until I'm so white-gray that it can pass for blonde))
6. I have so many bruises on my legs that I get asked if my husband beats me (I really do get this question, and I know people are trying to be humorous, but it's kind of a sad, creepy question...what if some poor woman actually WAS being abused? Would she admit it?). I'm not iron deficient, I'm just REALLY rough with myself, maybe careless. I regularly shut car doors while I'm not quite clear of its path, thereby slamming the corners into my calf or shin. My 8 month old has dagger toes that leave little round bruises on my thighs when she practices jumping on mommy's lap. And I probably acquire one bruise a day ALONE from traipsing through the garage-of-hell to retrieve the ONE toy my son ABSOLUTELY needs that's WAY in the back of the pile. RAZOR scooter edges, handlebars, spiky pedals, stroller parts, broken racquet wires, hubby's weights, half-chewed dog toys...they're all threatening to stab me or trip me. But I digress...
7. Farmer's tan...need I say more? I'm super self-conscious wearing shorts these days because of #6 combined with #7...just ugly.
8. I was never big on make-up, but I would "put my face on" every day to feel ready for my day. Now? Lucky if I put mascara on to avoid the zombie look.

You get the point...I am NOT taking care of myself. I attribute it to having an 8 month old and a 4 year old, getting 3, MAYBE 4-hour stretches of sleep at night, and spending my days playing with Hot Wheels, changing diapers, cleaning the house and working (part-time) from home. I don't know when it will happen, but I do look forward to the day I actually care about my appearance when I leave the house once again. Til then, I'll just keep placing pictures of me looking goooood around the house so my husband will remember I wasn't always an old hag :)

1 comment:

  1. Damn, I liked your post but then I read 'homeopathic' and removed your blog from my bookmarks. Come on! Don't fear the vax!

    ReplyDelete

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